Tuesday's Love and I'm Better Off Without Lists...First Trimester Edition

I am so happy and thankful to say that this winter it will be baby booties and swaddling blankets over here at our house.  I am pregnant.  I thought today would be the perfect time to share my loves about the first trimester, as well as those lovely things I could have done without.

Love List...

• The pure joy of seeing that second line on the pregnancy test.  After a miscarriage, I will be honest, it is a joy that is mixed with fears.  Many fears.  Yet, the thought of another child is still full of triumph and hope.
• The sound of a nurse calling with a happy tone in her voice.  She had good news.  Great test results.
• Making it past the date in the pregnancy that I lost the last baby.  I love that little one in Heaven and I always will.
• Despite the fact that I have been sick for seven weeks the majority of each day, that ill feeling is on my love list...since it indicates I have a growing baby. (Yet, I will now officially use it as my explanation for my lack of posts through June and July.)
• Seeing an adorable little peanut on an early ultrasound with a flashing little heartbeat on the screen.
• The excitement and joy my kids expressed with the news.  Since then, they have continued questions and discussions about it.  My favorite?  Listening to Myles tell Jillian how it is going to be.  "You know, I've done this already when you were born.  I remember it."
• A husband that has been so helpful and understanding as nausea has overridden each passing week.
• Dreaming of tiny fingers and toes.
• I had a doctors appointment at 11 weeks.  She put the fetal doppler on my belly and immediately found the sounds of the most beautiful little heartbeat.  It brought tears to my eyes, and relief to Ben's.
• Myles and Jillian are both begging to have the baby sleep in their room.  As an indication of their love and excitement, it warms my heart.
• Today, sitting at my desk I felt the first little tapping from inside.  Such a welcome and familiar feeling.  Amazing.
• Talking through names with Ben.  
• New and exciting seem to come in waves in our family.  Along with the plans to welcome a new baby, I have accepted a new role as Lean Manager at my office and Ben and Josh (his business partner) will open the doors to their second insurance office.

I'm Better Off Without List...

• A nightly ritual of taking a pill, immediately puking it up into my hand, and then looking down at it knowing I still need to take it.
• Gaining weight eating food that sounds gross anyway, but you know you will probably feel a little better if you eat something.
• The growing number of clothes that don't fit, but I refuse to take out of my closet and replace with maternity clothes.  I literally get maternity clothes out of a bin, while my walk in closet remains full of clothes that don't fit.  Not real efficient...huh?
• I haven't been all that emotional...but I will admit that I cried yesterday when Ben helped me.  Completely irrational.
• Motion sickness bracelets at work.  I looked like an idiot and I don't think they worked anyway.
• My butt always manages to outgrow my belly.  Looks like this pregnancy will be no different.
• I'm gonna need a bigger car...and my resistance against a minivan is getting harder and harder to maintain.